Sound
by soulspirit18
Summary: Edward once again has someone to babysit Bella during a family hunt.Surprisingly, Jasper was the choice but was that the only thing Edward had allowed Jasper doing. During her stay Bella hears a sound that has her curious.Will she find the source?Lemons
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone, I was just kind of messing around with these and thought I would post it. **

**Oh and this is my first time writing a lemon, so yeah.**

**Check out my other story "Half" I think it's pretty good. It's a J/B story.**

**As always Twilight does not belong to me**

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Prologue

There was that sound that she followed up that room that night. She didn't regret it. She couldn't. It was the best night of her life, though it could have been under different circumstances. Like the fact that she was in a relationship. But yet she still couldn't regret it happening at all, not even when the person who had her wrists roughly up against the wall was none other than her boyfriend's brother.

_Jasper_.

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---Sound----

It was another day that Bella had to be trapped at the Cullen household, courtesy of Edward. The only difference about this time was the fact that the Cullen's were allowing Jasper to keep an eye on her. He didn't seem to mind, and truthfully neither did her. Bella was used to having a babysitter at all hours like she was on some type of parole that never ended. She was only slightly uncomfortable around Jasper because they never talked so it was like staying in the house with a stranger. That would make anybody uncomfortable.

Just like every other hunting trip, Edward placed a chaste kiss on her lips and said how much he was going to miss her then he was off with everybody else. Bella turned around to find that she was alone in the living room. It was slightly unnerving to feel all alone in such a huge home, but she knew Jasper was somewhere so didn't let it get to her that much.

The sun was setting and the clouds curtained around it almost introducing it on to a stage. The light barely filled the room through the windows and caused everything to be a pinkish hue. Bella made her way to the lights before everything was shrouded in darkness. She made her way towards the sofa and turned the television on.

Bella quickly started thinking about what Jasper might be doing at this moment and wanted to find him, but decided not to since he seemed like such a private person. After awhile of just staring blankly at the television screen, she figured it was time to just take a shower and maybe read a book before going to bed.

The shower didn't take as long as she expected but still much needed. Bella picked a random book from the bookshelf not even bothering to check the title since her mind was on other things. She just kept thinking about what Jasper might be doing, but didn't want to intrude. It was a curious feeling that she had for him. There was no love in it at all since they didn't even speak to one another. She just felt a yearning for him, for his body. Sure she felt the same with Edward but it was stronger with Jasper. Maybe it's because Edward was basically a pretty boy, and Jasper was a ruggedly handsome man. A sexy cowboy, if you will.

But she wouldn't act on it because she loved Edward. And Alice, of course, her best friend she couldn't hurt her either. So she hid what she felt very well, well at least she thought so.

After just laying in bed trying desperately to get some sleep Bella went downstairs to heat some milk up. When she was at the last stair to the first floor, she heard what sounded like growling. She wasn't at all sure of what she should do; should she just ignore it? Or should she find the source?

When she heard it again, her curiosity got the best of her. So she headed back up the steps going down the dim hall trying to figure out where it came from. A different sound reached her ear heading towards a room she never been in before. Bella placed her hand on the door knob, slowly turning it and pressing the door slightly open.

"Jasper?" She called. "Is that you?"

Nothing. Nothing, but a lit room that looked like a cozy study room.

She opened the door wider and stepped cautiously in to the room. Still it was empty.

"Jasper? Are you there?" Shouldn't he have at least heard me somewhere else in the house? She asked herself.

Her hands glided across a large set of books that were piled up on a table. She was about to see what the top book was about when she felt an icy cold breath on her neck. She turned around abruptly causing some of the books to fall to the ground. He stayed perfectly still, not speaking a word. She was severely confused and wanted to ask what was wrong, but his lips crashed down on hers and stopped all coherent thought. All of a sudden the only thing she could think about was Jasper and how she always wanted him like this.

His hands grazed all throughout her body as her hands made their way to his luscious blond head of curls. Tongues dancing, moans singing.

Jasper let her free to allow her to breath. As the air flowed freely down to her lungs, Jasper moved back a bit and just stared. Once Bella's breathing was steady, he spoke.

"Will you give yourself to me, Bella? Will you allow me the pleasure of knowing the feeling that resides in you?" His voice was silky smooth filled with so much lust, Bella was surprised that she didn't swoon from the effects. She wanted to feel him against her again; she wanted more, so the answer was on the tip of her tongue until Edward's face flickered behind her eyelids when she blinked.

"Edward, Alice what about them?" She asked.

"They know." He simply said.

"What do you mean?"

"Edward caught you glancing at me from time to time and heard in my mind what I analyzed about your feelings. They are allowing us to be together for just this weekend." He said placing a hand on her left cheek, caressing it softly.

"And their fine with this?" She asked though she just wanted to feel his lips again.

"Yes, when you live as long as we do sometimes you need new…meat, I guess you can say." He spoke while allowing his hands to travel down just hovering over her body. She could feel the coldness barely caressing her skin, it was torture. "So Bella, will you let me feel more of you?"

"Why me?" She asked barely able to think straight.

"Bella, Bella, Bella. How could I not want you? For the past year I've wanted to sink myself in your warm, virgin tight cunt. I've wanted to take the innocence of your body and your mind. And this weekend I intend to." He said before ripping her shirt in one swift movement that left her stunned and him assaulting her torso.

She didn't realize until her hands were roaming throughout his body that his pants had been unbuttoned and unzipped the whole time. Slowly, she started to remember what made her come up here, the sounds of growling than another sound less recognizable, she realized what he had been doing up here the whole time and that just made her wetter. Another rough tug pulled her back to what was happening, looking down she found herself completely exposed except for the lacy boy shorts Alice had chosen for her to wear. Now that made sense, she thought.

Jasper marveled at the glory of the soft, warm body in front of him. He had been dreaming of this moment for so long that he almost took her right when everyone had left, but knew he couldn't just attack her like that so that had caused him to race to his room and pleasure himself. He already had planned what they would be doing this weekend, she was going to be sore when she left but he knew she would find it worth it. Jasper knew he had to be gentle with her at first, but after that everything to him was game.

His mouth attacked her right breast while his hand started pinching and pulling her left one. Wondrous melodies were traveling to his ears as he continued his ministrations. Her moans and groans were the only sound in the dim lit room. Soon his mouth moved to the other breast while his hand started traveling downward towards her soaking sex. Jasper moaned when he felt her so wet for him already. Her hips buckled slightly when he slipped a finger through her slit and pressed lightly on her clit.

"Jas…Jasper, please… more." She breathed out.

"What do you want?" He asked as he kept moving over her clit lightly.

"You."

"What do you want me to do?" He asked continuing to tease her, wanting her to say only one thing.

"Oh God….Fuck me…" She struggled to get out. Her hips thrashing wildly against his hand trying to get more friction.

"I intend to." He said before shredding her underwear and plunging a finger into her. She gasped at the sensation before wanting and needing more.

"Faster." He obliged his finger going in and out at an incredible speed, and started to rub her clit with his thumb while attacking her breast with his mouth again. Every sensation he was making was driving her wild and she felt something tightening below. It was all so new and she knew that she would treasure this time forever. She kept making sounds that had Jasper growing harder by the minute.

When he felt her about to cum he ran to a guest room still continuing his actions, but replaced his finger with his mouth, which immediately had her in an intense orgasm. He quickly drank her juices and centered himself at her core and rubbed his cock between her wet folds. Before her blissful moment was over he quickly plunged into her breaking her barrier of innocence. She only felt a slight pain, before she felt a new feeling of being full.

"Now I have you the innocence of your body." He grunted, waiting for her to adjust to his size. He never imagined anything feeling so good, he was having a hard time not fucking her the way he intended to tomorrow.

"Please." She whimpered moving her hips up. He pulled almost all the way out before plunging deeply into her.

"Oh God Jasper." She moaned.

"So fucking tight….so warm." He panted, continuing to thrust into her.

"Harder, faster." She said just needing more.

Once again he obliged thrusting faster and wrapping her legs around his waist so he could plunge farther in. He never felt anything like this and was glad he was given the chance to do this the entire weekend. She was tightening even more around his member making it incredibly hard for him to not come right then. He started to rub her clit profusely causing her to scream out his name and seconds later had him growling out her name as they came together. He fell to the side of her and pulled her to his chest panting for much unneeded breath.

"Tomorrow, Bella I shall take the innocence of your mind." He said just before she slipped into the land of dreams.

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**This will probably be a two-shot if you guys want. Remember this was my first lemon.**

**Reviews make the world go round. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the alerts and reviews.**

**Sorry, I didn't update sooner but classes were pretty demanding and I haven't had the right frame of mind lately. **

**I know it's shorter but it is also a longer lemon, so I think that's okay.**

**As always Twilight is not mine.**

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_Sound cont._

The beginning of the new day caused streams of light to break through the entire glass wall and making Bella finally stir. She woke up to no one beside her and began to wonder if last night was all just a dream, until she looked around to find herself in an entirely different room then the one she usually resides in. Her stomach made itself known causing her to realize that she forgot to eat dinner last night. Bella stumbled a bit going down the stairs. There was a slight pain between her legs and she felt a little like jello, but other than that she thought she was ready for round two.

Jasper came back to the house after hunting to find Bella eating a bowl of cereal and staring at the television that was muted, but not really watching it. He could feel tons of lust radiating from her and knew she was thinking about him. He couldn't wait to take her rough this time.

"Bella." He breathes out, feeling her lust shot up before she turned to look at him. "Are you ready?" He asked. "Are you ready for me to take the innocence of your mind?" He could smell her arousal and hear her heartbeat racing. She nodded her head excitedly.

He moved agonizingly slow towards her, never taking his gaze from hers. Her heart just kept racing and she had to concentrate on breathing. He moved as lethal as a cobra as he moved his way towards her. Bella was a prey trapped to this predator, completely trapped yet mesmerized. When he finally made it to her, Jasper reached down taking the bowl from her hands and placed it on the table, eyes still locked.

One hand came up to the top of her shirt and wretchedly slow he shredded her shirt and bra moving downwards. His fingers not even grazing her skin as it moved downwards. The coldness hovering just over her skin. Their eyes never strayed. Another rip and her bottom garments were completely destroyed. His hand slithered to her core and he ran one finger through her slit. She shuddered slightly and gasped.

"So wet for me and I didn't even touch you yet." He drawled bringing the finger to his mouth for a taste.

"You're divine." He said. "Now, undress me."

She moved quickly in front of him placing her hands under his shirt feeling his body upwards. Her fingers traced every contour of his chest, caressing every muscle. Bella grazed her nails across his nipples causing them to peak and Jasper to shiver and hiss. When his shirt was over his head and off, she slowly made her way down. His eyes were closed loving the feelings of the new sensations of her warmth and gentleness.

Her hand made its way to his growing bulge and she squeezed earning her a groan. Bella didn't waste time taking his pants off and she noticed he went commando, causing her to only grow wetter. She began to stroke him, making him hiss at the new feeling. Seeing that he liked it she got on her knees and twirled her tongue around the head. He threw his head back and groaned louder.

When she seen that he wasn't going to stop her, she ran her tongue from base to tip. Slowly she put her mouth around the head and took him fully in almost deep throating him. Animalistic growls were ricocheting through the empty house. She began to suck him, hard. Jasper's hands went to her head and started to guide her, making her go faster. Bella brought her hands to stroke the rest of his member while the other massaged his balls. He was losing it and chanting "fuck" like a prayer to the heavens. When Bella decided to hum and groan, Jasper couldn't hold back anymore and came right into her mouth to which she swallowed every drop.

"I want to fucking tear you apart." He growled.

Then at a speed only a vampire can use, Jasper was sitting on the edge of the couch with Bella straddling around his waist and before she could even blink he sheath himself into her dripping core. Bella gasped at the speed and sensation that he had created in a mere second. Jasper had his hands around her waist lifting her almost all the way off then slamming her down. He kept plunging into her and had her breasts bouncing to the rhythm. He loved a girl to ride him but he also like to be in control.

"Faster, Jasper." Bella hissed trying to get some control, but he was holding her hips and not allowing her to move. They both liked this new position because it allowed his member to be buried deeper in her. Jasper started making her pound into him faster and harder causing her to arch her back in pleasure. She was digging her nails into his shoulders and begging him not to stop. Her muscles started clenching around him making him harder to slam into her. His thrusts were becoming erratic and he was growling out her name.

"So fucking tight…" He said before using one hand to rub her clit. She clenched around him tighter.

"I…I'm going… to …cum." She groaned out having a difficult time even breathing.

"Cum." He ordered out. After three more deep thrust she obeyed and fell over the edge screaming his name. Two more thrusts and Jasper was doing the same.

Bella was laying on his chest trying to get her breathing to steady, with Jasper still deeply buried within her. Thinking about what they just did had Bella's lust up all over again and had Jasper incredibly hard all over again. The next minute Jasper had Bella on the ground.

"Get on your arms and knees." He commanded, she obeyed.

He slowly entered her this time and once Bella got use to his length through a new position she began to rock back into him. Jasper placed one hand on her shoulder and another around her hip. He started off slow which helped them make a tempo that they enjoyed. When Jasper let go of her shoulder to go around the other side of her hips, Bella fell forward her face on the ground. The new angle had him plunging deeper into her core causing her moans and groans to grow in the room. Jasper began plunging himself into her growling at the pleasure that was increasing with every sound and friction that they were making.

"More…fuck, I need more." He growled.

Jasper wanting a new angle, grabbed around her right knee he lifted it up and held it around his waist. With him deeper and the new ride, Bella started to feel that tightness swelling up again. Her hands were trying to find anything to hold on to, nails clawing into the ground she clenched and was brought to another orgasm when Jasper plunged two times more into her.

Jasper wasn't done yet and continued to slam into her at a frantic pace getting lost in the feeling of everything Bella. He took himself out but before Bella even realized he was out she was placed on her side, her back only slightly laying on the ground, and he had one of her legs over his shoulder and was buried into her again. He was literary fucking her sideways. This was new to Jasper as well and when Bella began tightening again he knew he wasn't going to last. Bella felt like she was going to be ripped apart, but also very much loved the feeling of this painful pleasure. Doing this with Jasper just made her realize that she loved to be fucked, and wondered if being with Edward would always be about making love when he finally decided to take it to the next level. She certainly hoped not. Maybe in the future they would allow Jasper to do this again.

Jasper grabbed her other leg and threw it over his other shoulder. His arms on either side of her head he kept plunging into her. His balls slamming against her causing flesh on flesh sounds that had him moving faster, his growls growing louder. Soon Bella tightened more before cumming again and Jasper couldn't take it anymore spilling his seed inside of her.

After her last orgasm Bella's body decided it needed rest so before Jasper could even want more she was already sleeping soundly. Jasper wanted to continue to do many things still, but he would allow her that rest. Later he would continue to teach her all new adventures that she never even dreamed about, but now they would be silent.

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**Sorry if this one's lacking, but like I said I am a first time lemon writer.**

**Reviews make my world go round.**


	3. Chapter 3

**The sparkly vampire universe does not belong to me.**

**As many of you have requested, I will be continuing this as a story. I took many ideas you guys suggested and of course added my own thing, and well I think this shall turn into a great little story.**

**Without further ado,**

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_Sound_

The moonlight danced through the openings of the glass wall illuminating the undead, gorgeous man and blushing, sleeping beauty that lay on the white carpeted floor. The man was comfortable at the moment just being alongside the young girl. If any whom looked in on this scene they would most likely believe that the two unclothed lovers were in actuality_ in _love already. Those people would be wrong though because the two were not _in_ love, at least not yet, but things always change and who knows something like their weekend can certainly change certain feelings and futures. Or maybe they were placed on their set path by a certain pixie.

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Jasper was growing tired of the silence; he wanted sounds, though he would be glad to just lay by her. He wanted their sounds to echo even throughout the forest and they were running out of time together. He moved to get up slowly, knowing hunting now would be a smart move so as not to eat the human girl beside him in a way both would not like. Nothing stirred as he threw on some clothes and ran out the door with one single glance back.

Bella's body needed to rejuvenate from the activities Jasper did and would do. Sleep only brought fantasies of scenes filled with a southern god who had a glow that shined off his body from the barely there sunset and moonlight. It was almost like she wasn't sleeping with the way that her mind made his touch actually feel as if he were grazing her breasts along her stomach, barely touching, wanting her to beg.

She was still thoroughly knocked out; no way would soul-seeing brown eyes flutter open soon. Yet, she panted and writhe on the soft white carpet from dreams of a man that was currently feasting on elks. A slow, sensual drop of red liquid caressed along his bottom lip towards his chin, while an image and feel of him tasting her fully replayed in a young girls mind miles away.

The sun was rising by the time Jasper decided he was finished hunting. He was only a mile away when he felt lust guiding him towards the house. Smugness was practically radiating from him, when he found Bella still unconscious but knowing she was dreaming of him as his name sensually left her lips.

Silky stone fingers moved across her body, barely on her skin afraid to wake her up, but so desperately wanting to feel the nude beauty. Jasper didn't want to wake her, not yet. He always secretly cared for her well being, always had a protectiveness that was far from familial feelings towards her. Always felt a pull.

Edward never knew, could never know. Only Alice was aware.

When Edward was away that first week Bella came to Forks, Jasper spoke to Alice about the pull he felt towards the new girl. She listened and told him he would have to stay away for awhile, and he did. And it hurt.

Whenever he brought it up to Alice, she would only tell him to be patient. So he remained patient and he got some of what he had longed for on this weekend, but he still wanted the rest of her. He wanted Bella to be his, forever.

A buzz brought Jasper out of his musings, his attention now on his phone on the nearby table. Lifting himself from his spot next to his lover, he moved towards the table.

"_Patience."_

A text from Alice, once again telling him what she had told him many a times before.

Would Bella be his someday? He thought. Does this lead to that?

He hoped so. If he had to wait, he would. The soldier in him could wait an eternity for what he wanted. What he needed. And he did, he needed her. Bella, his mate.

If all he could have was her body at the moment, then he would ravage it. Something Eddie would never do. Something, so long as he was around, no man would ever do. She was his.

On that note, Jasper laid next to Bella and continued his feather light touches stroking along her legs. He was content on just having her close, to pretend that she shared his feelings, to simply enjoy having her close. Because once the family was back, things would be back to the way they once were.

Well, except if you ask the seer.

It was good into the afternoon before Bella started to rouse. Throughout the hours of sleep, she continued to have her very vivid arousing dreams and at the moment she felt completely embarrassed. Calming waves pushed those emotions away as she sat up to find Jasper sitting across from her.

"Sleep well, peach?" Jasper asked with a smirk.

Bella only nodded to dazzled by this devastating, gorgeous fallen angel in front of her to speak.

"Here let's get you somethin' to eat." Taking the hand Jasper offered; she stood feeling a bit uncomfortable standing around naked and from being sore. Once up, he wrapped a sheet around her to make her a little more comfortable, Bella was pleasantly surprised he was being such a gentleman especially since the way they were the last few days.

"Thank you." She whispered as a blush decorated her entirely.

He made her sit on a stool as he tried to figure out what exactly would be good for her to eat. Deciding a sandwich was a safe route; Jasper got all the ingredients out from their destinations and set to work.

Bella was happy and content simply watching Jasper, getting something to eat was just a bonus. Something she was never sure about but was always there when she was around him, a feeling that made them being together feel right. She chose not to think about it too much though; she couldn't do that to Edward.

"Here you go." Jasper said placing a plate with a delicious looking sandwich on it. "If it's bad I can always make something else."

Taking a big bite, Bella savored the taste before replying. "No, this is a delicious sandwich. I mean at least you put everything I like in it; Edward usually puts way too many lettuce and tomatoes, and not enough meat and mustard for my liking. Something about my health."

Jasper simply chuckled and felt proud that he did something better than Edward when it came to Bella.

"I will be right back, alright doll?" He asked when she was half way through her food.

"Where are you going?" She asked curiously.

"You'll see in a few." He promised. At her nod, he disappeared up the stairs.

Bella finished her sandwich in silence and decided to just wait for Jasper to come back. He came back shortly after and carried her bridle style up the stairs and to one of the guests bathrooms.

The tub was filled with hot water and had bubbles almost over the rim with a vanilla scented candle at one corner of the tub. Bella felt extremely light and couldn't help the emotions that were bubbling up in her at such a sweet gesture. Before she even thought about it, her lips were right on Jaspers.

It was light and full of appreciation, but Jasper felt like he was definitely winning her over little by little.

He placed her gently in the tub, trying to pay attention to the bruises that formed along her soft skin. He knew he couldn't help that she got some marks on her; I mean he is a vampire after all they were just lucky she didn't break any bones. In a way, he looked at them as if he marked her.

Jasper left her to her bath and went down the stairs. The family would be arriving in a couple of hours and things would return to normal.

He wanted more time, maybe have her know more about him. See him for him, instead of Edward's brother in the corner.

It was only thirty or so minutes when Bella made her way out of the tub. The soreness was no longer really there, and for that she was grateful. She wanted at least one more go with Jasper before everyone came back.

Something about wanting to just be close to Jasper, and this being the only way. She knew Edward probably would not allow them to speak to one another once all this was over. All they had was their few hours.

After getting some clothes on, she made her way to where Jasper was.

"Thank you for that." She said. "It really helped a lot."

"No problem, darling." He spoke with his southern drawl seeping through, causing a bit of lust to also seep through the room. "Now, now a little soon don't you think."

"What's soon when we only have hours?" Bella asked, while walking slowly towards him.

"Did I create a little monster?" His eyes were growing darker, and voice getting even sexier.

"Maybe," Bella replied shrugging, "you know Jasper, I've always wanted something like this weekend to happen with you."

It was strange and hot to Jasper how one minute she was all shy and blushing, then the next all confident and sexy.

"The same could be said for me." _Except I want to make you mine, _he added in his head. "How about we continue what we started?"

"Sounds like a plan." She said as he pulled her to him.

His mouth was on her neck sucking and nipping lightly, soothing the small bites with his tongue. Along her collarbone, he continued this while his hands snaked down to the bottom of her shirt slowly drawing it over her body.

Her eyes were closed, just enjoying the feel of his hands moving across her chest. She didn't even bother to wear a bra, and once the shirt was off his mouth picked off where it left off traveling down from her collarbone until latched to one of her breasts.

Jasper picked her up and her legs automatically slide around his waist. Their heated cores pressing tightly against each other making them moan. They moved up the stairs to the guest room that they went to the first time. He placed her gently in the center of the bed.

His hands swept along from her neck to the top of her pants. Her arousal was thick in the air, even through the fabric; saturating the room and making Jasper's already hard length become even harder.

He didn't waste time pulling off her pants leaving her with only purple lace fabric covering his goal. He had to admit though he really loved purple on her. It took a lot of control not to just rip them from her body, but he wanted to see them on her again so he slid them off each leg slowly. Pressing kisses along her calves and thighs.

Bella was getting extremely impatient and was beginning to have her hands swiftly move across her stomach towards her breasts. Her actions caused a growl from Jasper as she continued to knead and pinch herself. Her moans sung out to him in an alluring spell reeling him in.

His jeans were torn off in a second and his hands replaced Bella's with his mouth sucking fiercely on one. Her fingers tangled throughout his hair as his fingers began to walk down to her wet core. He nipped her left breast causing a gasp and an arching of her back for better access.

Swiftly a swipe of a finger through her slit had him groaning by how wet she already was for him. A light touch on her clit and she was moaning for more. His finger had a feather-light touch running from her swollen bud to her entrance. Bella was rocking her hips frantically seeking more friction that he wasn't allowing yet.

"Please Jasper, I need more." Bella begged running her nails along his back.

"Who do you need, Bella?" Jasper asked bringing his face up to look at her. "Look at me. Now tell me who you need." He commanded, putting more pressure against her clit before returning to light touches.

"You, only you." She whimpered out.

"That's right, peach."

Finally giving into her, he positioned himself feeling her warmth call out for him. _For only him,_ he thought. He slipped in slowly, wanting to just savor this last time he would be able to take her. Her lips engulfed his cock as he pushed in even more of himself, groaning out at how tight she was.

Bella couldn't wait and rocked her hips to fully sheath him in. She whispered his name in a hiss, while a growl ripped through him causing more pleasure through Bella as the vibrations sung in her body.

He moved his hips back slowly before thrusting roughly into her. Their pelvic bones practically colliding, thankfully he remembered she was a human. Again he pulled out and pushed right in to her. Both enjoying the skin to skin smacks that echoed through the room.

Bella's hips were covered with Jasper's fingers as he moved her body up more while pumping roughly into her. Thrust after thrust they moved together in a wild dance, their music coming from deep in their chest and out of their mouths and the rain that decided to become a fast pace drumming.

"Faster, oh god… Jas…more…" Bella gasped out brokenly, moving her hips more.

Using more of a vampire speed Jasper thrust faster and harder, loving the complete feel of her warm tight walls surrounding his length.

"Ugh, so tight…fuck…" Jasper panted.

Her nails dug deeply between his shoulder blades and Jasper growled out animalistic when her walls began to have a stronger hold on his cock. He really had the urge to bite her, but it wasn't the time. But god, he wanted to bite her. Claim her.

"Oh shit Jas...per, almost…almost…" Bella's head was swinging from side to side as she tried to speak clearly.

Jasper was starting to plunge in and out erratically and roughly. His eyes were shut tightly, brows pulled together, while his white teeth clamped down on each other with his moist lips spread slightly apart.

"Shit Bella… come…come for me…" His growled out as one hand slid down towards her swollen clit, and began rubbing fiercely. The vibrations of his growl and voice made everything just snap.

His name ricocheted throughout the home as she came hard, her vision was clouded with stars and her breathing was shaking and coming in pants. He thrusted twice before he couldn't hold back anymore and his coldness shot throughout her womb, filling completely.

He fell down besides her, pulling her against him as he tried to settle his breathes to calm and steady ones though he didn't need to.

He listened to her heart as it beat erratically against her chest. Bella's hands ran softly through Jaspers hair as they were getting down from their high.

From the glowing red light of the clock, they only had little time left. It felt like they were saying goodbye to one another. To Jasper it hurt a lot more, knowing he had her but had to let her go back to the one she loved.

Bella felt some strong connection to Jasper after all this, not just because he was her first but something in her heart didn't want to pretend this never happened. But she would have to…for Edward.

After minutes just savoring the last moments, Bella started moving to place her feet on the ground and never look back. Jasper didn't move as she crawled to the side of the bed, he was going to make it easier on her by letting her just leave. She only hesitated a second, but that second meant the world to Jasper especially the way her emotions were so erratic.

Bella went straight to the bathroom in Edward's room to take a shower. The warmth of the water cascading down her sore muscles made her just to keep her mind clear. She made sure to scrub her skin from the scent of Jasper.

After she was all dressed she decided to just stay in the room and read, just wait for the family to get home.

Jasper left the guest room as soon as he heard Edward's shower start; he went through forest and just ran. No thinking, just running as far as he felt. All he had now were the memories of the weekend and some mind reader would probably expect him to not think about her at all. So he just ran and stopped and remembered.

Bella was probably half way through a page, when she heard the door downstairs open and her named called. She ran down all the stairs, surprisingly without a fall, and flew into Edwards arms.

He had his crooked grin and his eyes were shining from the hunt and emotions for her. She breathed a slight sigh of relief when he was just happy to see her. She had thought that maybe he would be disgusted that she actually had sex with Jasper.

"How was your weekend, love?" Edward asked, still love and adoration in his gaze.

"Umm, it was okay?" Bella answered uncertainly making it sound like a question, I mean how do you answer your fiancé that your weekend sleeping with his brother was probably the best thing that has ever happened to you? "How was your hunt?"

"It was splendid. The overpopulation of mountain lions has decreased exponentially." He answered somewhat smugly.

"Edward stop hogging her, I wanna hug from my baby sis." Emmett boomed.

"Emmy bear, I hope you took down some grizzlies for me." Bella wheezed out as she was engulfed in a gut crunching hug.

"Sure did, those bears were blindsided by my awesomeness." Everybody laughed as he placed her down.

"Hey Bella, you have to let me take you shopping this week." Alice practically demanded as she skipped in front of Bella.

Bella groaned from the very idea of having to shop with Alice the shopaholic pixie. Alice simply wiggled a finger in her face as she spoke.

"Now, now none of that, you come with me shopping without complaining and I will cut our time to four hours."

"Fine, deal."

"Good, now I have to find a certain empath." With that Alice flew out the door and through the forest.

* * *

**So next chapter: A week goes by and Bella starts to not feel too good, and more.**

**Reviews make me very, very happy. They are almost better than chocolate, almost. Like a very close second. Anyways, just review… please.**

**P.S Tell me what Jasper should call Bella. Oh, and I'm switching to character POVs.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Twilight is not mine.**

**Thank you all for all the amazing reviews. And thank you for the favorites and alerts.**

**Sorry it took forever to update, I really have no excuse. So to make it up to you guys I decided to add a lemon to this chapter. : )**

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_**Sound**__—__** BPOV**_

_His nails scrapped, in a pleasure pain, down my back causing me to arch and scream out his name as he kept pounding into me. My hands clung to the blankets and pillows over my head, trying to find something to hold on to._

_My body seemed to be its own entity has my hips started rotating on their own accord. He was growling loudly and moving his cock in me at a faster speed._

_Our breaths caressed as we panted and shook as we moved together. His thrusts became erratic moving in and out of me. My walls were clamping down when he started hitting that spot._

"_Come for me, Bella." He grunted out as he plunged in, keeping my hips moving._

_His name would leave my lips in almost a screech as my whole world turned dark._

I practically jumped out of my bed from the intensity of the dream. It really should not be surprising at all, every night for the past eleven nights it's always the same dream, but I suppose I just never get used to it.

And it is always intense.

I have found it strange that Edward hadn't mentioned anything about it, or even look upset. I mean because surely I would have said _his_ name at least once. Yelled it out, at least once.

But hey, if he doesn't want to mention it, I'm all for that.

The dream is extremely vivid, I always feel like everything is actually around us and we're actually moving as one. Like at the moment, I feel like he just pulled out. I feel empty.

I was glad Edward wasn't in my room at the moment. I don't think I could actually look him in the eye knowing of what I just dreamed. Of whom I was dreaming of.

At first I thought it was nothing, that all it was because of what we did, but as more days past by and the more vivid the dreams became I started to have the feeling that I was having them for a much bigger reason.

Days passed in which I became a coward by not stepping foot in the Cullen household. I was even lucky that Jasper already graduated from school, so I didn't need to worry about anything there.

The only problem was that for some reason…I missed him. My body and my soul called out for him, but it didn't make sense. The only time we ever got close or spoke was that weekend.

What took place then seemed to change something. For the good, the bad, I couldn't say. Only time or Alice could tell, but she hasn't said anything so perhaps I'm over thinking things.

Shaking my head rather forcefully helped dispel my thoughts for now.

I quickly launched myself from my bed and successfully made it to the door without stumbling. My hand was just on the door knob, when I caught site of a note taped against my door at eyelevel.

I sighed in resignation when I read that Alice wanted to drag me around the mall. There was no point in even fighting with someone that never took a negative for an answer or who could see the future, and I might as well add the fact she is a vampire.

The shower was much shorter than I had intended due to the fact a certain pixie stomping into the room and turning it off. She probably saw that I had decided to simply stand under it after I would be technically finished.

"I picked out your outfit; I didn't like anything you decided on." She yelled from downstairs.

"Fine." I huffed and practically stomped towards my room.

_Freaking eighteen years old and can't even dress my own damn self._ I thought angrily.

My mind was pretty strange lately, more so my emotions. I kept thinking and almost saying things that I would never have thought of before. Like I have never once been this mad at Alice before, I don't even recall ever being upset with Alice unless it had something to do with her keeping something from me.

It was strange, but I figured nothing to dwell on.

After dressing I began walking down the stairs, only half way down my stomach churned and my mouth began to overly salivate. I turned abruptly back and dashed towards the bathroom luckily only stumbling slightly once. I covered my mouth during the run, not being able to control the flow from my throat.

I barely made it to the toilet when a sudden rush of acidic water and dry heaving wracked through my clammy body.

Alice was holding my hair out of the way and placed a glass of water beside me less than a second later. I wasn't able to drink it for a couple of minutes of dry heaving.

"Oh my gosh, Bella, are you alright? Did you get the flu?" She asked quickly.

"I don't know." I replied shakily. "I was fine one minute then I drastically wasn't, but I'm feeling alright now."

"Are you sure? We don't have to go to the mall if you don't feel up to it." She said worriedly.

"As much as that offer sounds great, I do actually feel fine and you really want to go, so we'll go." I told her honestly.

It was extremely weird but I did feel normal.

"Alright, if you really say so." She said skeptically.

I nodded. "I'm really feeling normal; it was probably something I ate yesterday."

The car ride was filled with a singing competition that Alice easily won. But somehow I could sense something was off about Alice's demeanor. I hoped that whatever was on her mind, she would speak to me about it.

The mall wasn't so packed since it was a Wednesday morning. The only people shopping being shopaholics almost as bad as Alice or parents simply taking their children someplace.

Alice dragged me around, forcing items and clothing to be bought by her for me. I needed up getting at least four bags worth of clothes that I wouldn't be wearing and maybe one and a half worth that I actually liked.

After about three hours of her crazy shopping, she finally allowed me a break at the food court. She seemed lost in her thoughts as she walked behind me in line for my lunch, and even when I found a place to eat.

"Bella, I have no idea as to what is going on anymore." Alice finally said after many more minutes of silence, seeming annoyed and worried.

"About what?" I asked.

"Your future, it's blurry." She said, shaking her head frustrated. "It's been like that since a few days ago. I suppose I shouldn't mind it too much, since I already know your set future."

"What do you mean? I thought the future was always changing."

"That's true, but sometimes things are just set." She said. "Things happen that need you to make a decision, but depending on your choice it might take you longer or shorter to go where you need to. I simply see where you end not exactly how you get there."

"Where do I end?"

* * *

Alice had me promise to not say anything about my now blurry future. She wouldn't tell me anything other than my future was indeed blurry, and not to worry about _anything._ For some reason she kept stressing _anything._

She then went on to tell me about Edward not being able to be at my house until the next day, because she really needed to speak to him and drag him shopping. She made it seem like it was supposed to be very important that he wasn't going to be at my home tonight.

I didn't know what to think about it.

And at the moment all I wanted to do was snuggle against my pillow and drift to the wonderful land of unconsciousness.

I entered my kitchen in search of a small dinner. There happened to be a note on the fridge from Charlie, telling me he would be down at Billy's till the next day in order to comfort him on Jacob's runaway.

I snorted at the thought of Charlie trying to comfort anyone, and also because everyone but my dad knew that Jacob was perfectly fine. Although, technically Jacob was in pain because of my choices; Charlie didn't need to know that. I didn't want to remember that.

I made myself a sandwich, without even realizing until I took a bite that it was the same as the one Jasper had made me. I laughed humorlessly to myself as I ate.

My body swayed when I got up from the chair and my head was light. I clutched the end of the closest counter, waiting for the lightness to dispel.

Once I felt normal, I cleaned my plate quickly, thinking I needed to rest. The day was pretty full and I was sick at the beginning of it, it only made sense I would be feeling a little funny sometime.

The moment I was on the bed, my body immediately relaxed and my eyes automatically shut closed along with my mind.

A sound had me jumping out of bed, still twisted sheets around me but luckily I didn't fall. My head swiveled around while I slid the blankets to the ground and stepped away from them.

I tiptoed towards the window, though it wasn't necessary, and peered through the glass seeing only the darkness. A gentle knock from the glass had me a bit startled, but I moved closer and unlocked the window.

My feet shuffled backwards quickly to give whoever it was some room. My eyes stayed focused on the darkness, simply trying to figure out who it could be.

The window slid open, but no one came through. My heart beat frantically against my chest and pounded against my skull. My hands started shaking as my feet slid backwards against the floor.

Had I not been so terrified, I might have felt a sudden brush of wind rush by. But I didn't, and so ended up screaming into a cold muffled hand when the person tapped my shoulder.

An overwhelming feel of calmness hit me, making me to twist around in my captor's arms.

Jasper looked a mess. His golden locks were decorated with twigs and something seeming to be mud. His face was also splattered with mud. Thirsty black eyes stared back at me, but I couldn't feel afraid when all they held was concern.

"Jasper, what happened?" I finally asked.

"You've been avoiding me, haven't you?" He asked quietly, moving away from me.

"No, no of course not." I rushed.

"You can't lie to me, Bella." He said with a humorless laugh.

"I…I don't know…I just couldn't face you, I guess." I replied.

"Why is that?" He asked, before pacing like a feral animal. "You haven't been around the house since our weekend together; could it have something to do with that?"

"Jasper, what happened to you?" I asked again.

I still couldn't find it in myself to be scared of this untamed animalistic Jasper. Call it lack of self-preservation or just plain stupid, but whatever it was I just knew he could not hurt me. He would not hurt me.

I was worried, of course I was worried. This didn't seem like anything Jasper would usually do. Whatever happened had to have really done damage on him, and from hearing his story it would have to be something extremely terrible to cause a reaction like this. But then there was the question of why come to me? And why ask about why I haven't been to the Cullen home since that weekend?

"Jasper?" I whispered, trying to get him to stop and talk to me. "Jasper."

His head snapped in my direction at my second call. He was in front of my face before I could even blink.

"Bella." He breathed, his scent penetrating my senses. "Don't avoid me."

"I…I…sorry." I said, turning my gaze to his muddy shoes.

One of his hands came up and forced my head up, making me look to his coal eyes before he dropped it slowly to his side. I brought one of my hands up and placed my index finger lightly on the dark bags under his eyes.

"You haven't been eating." I stated.

"I missed you."

I stopped my actions and tried to move back, but he wasn't having any of that and brought his arm to snake around my waist holding me in place.

"Jasper, I can't handle this." I said struggling against him.

"Bella, please just give me this time. We don't even have to do anything you don't want."

What was this? What was any of this? I thought what went on between us was only supposed to be that weekend. I thought Jasper simply did it for the sake of saying he did. I thought no feelings were involved.

I thought completely wrong it seemed.

"Jasper, we can't." I said. "What we did was because Edward allowed it, he wouldn't allow you here."

"I can feel you want me, Bella." He said. "He doesn't have to find out; we'll have our own little secret."

"I can't…I can't." I quietly chanted, full of frustration. Whether I was frustrated with his pushiness or for the reason of really actually wanting him, I didn't know but I might have to say both.

"Bella, I need you. I can't stay away. You can't avoid me anymore, I won't let you."

I couldn't say I needed Jasper. I couldn't say I couldn't stay away. Because I didn't believe I need him, and I did stay away this week.

I closed my eyes tightly, lessening the temptation. My whole being was filled with major conflicts. I craved so much of him but it was extremely wrong to do anything on the urges.

Perhaps, I wouldn't be feeling like this if Edward actually let our relationship take that next step. Maybe if he didn't keep rejecting me every night for this whole week, I wouldn't feel the desire, the want, to be with Jasper, who was offering and confessing, not only wanting, but needing me.

I never wanted someone as much as the way I wanted Jasper. Not even Edward could unleash this much desire.

"Just this night." He whispered against my ear, causing me to shudder.

His tongue grazed lightly across my neck, making a mix between a moan and whimper to escape me. His hands moved to rest on my hips with his thumbs rubbing my exposed skin.

My fists clenched and unclenched while a bit my lip and trembled slightly. My will power was beginning to crumble with every light touch his hands made. But I was going to fight it, him, even though we both knew I was going to lose.

One hand stayed on my hip while another moved under my light shirt across my back. I shuddered against the cold; at least that was what I told myself. He began to graze his fingertips moving them up and down my spine.

A nip at my collarbone made me gasp and snap my eyes wide open. The first thing I could see was Jasper's hair, but slowly he moved his head up towards my view.

I think I completely snapped when his hungry eyes stared back at me, but I couldn't be sure. The only thing was one moment we stared at one another, then the next our lips were pressed roughly together.

I didn't even bother fighting against him for dominance; he already won. His taste was the only thing that could clearly process through my fogged mind. I moaned loudly against his mouth when he pressed his prominent erection against my core.

My fingers tangled through his messy locks, pushing him closer. His mouth moved away from mine, letting me the air I needed. We were both panting with our foreheads pressing against each other.

I moved one of my hands down from his hair and grazed my fingertips along his neck to his chest down his stomach stopping at the top of his jeans. I did the same with my other hand, and brought them together to unclasp his belt buckle.

Before I could blink, I was laying flat against my back on my bed with Jasper straddling my waist. He kept his eyes on mine while he moved his hands to the bottom of his shirt, his hands lifting it slowly from his body and over his head.

I was panting as he moved to hover over me, hands pulling my legs closer. I was so caught up in him that I never noticed that we were both now naked until his tongue flicked my hardening nipples.

I gasped and arched closer, my fingers entangling themselves in his hair. He left kisses down across my stomach, pulling my thighs over his shoulders.

A cold breath over my heating sex had my pants begin to be mixed in with whimpers of want. He licked completely up my slit and swirled his tongue on my clit. I began bucking into his face and wrapping my legs around his head.

"Fuck, I missed you so damn bad." Jasper growled when he pulled back slightly.

I didn't get a chance to reply before he inserted a finger into me. He moved it slowly at first, teasing, but quickly started pushing in and out at an inhuman speed inserting another finger along the way.

My hands clutched tightly against his head as he continued drawing patterns across my nub with his tongue.

I screamed his name when he had grazed his teeth on my clit causing me to shudder wildly. I could barely feel him lapping up my juices as I was lost in ecstasy.

Jasper traveled up my body, sucking roughly at my breasts before looking at my face. His hand came up and caressed my cheek, tangling in my hair as he pressed his lips against mine in a sweet kiss.

His cock entered me slowly allowing me the time to adjust. A groan/growl vibrated through Jasper's chest and escaped past his parted lips.

"Shit, better than I remember." He growled. "Tight, fuck hot."

A guttural moan was sung by me when he finally just plunged deeply inside. He pulled out all the way only to thrust harder back in. The heat bloomed heavily all throughout my body as he began to suck and pinch my breasts.

His thrusts were wild and frantic like an animal. Loud noises kept leaving him and vibrated my body with his movements.

"Ah, Jasper." I yelled. "I…more, more."

His nails scrapped, in a pleasure pain, down my back causing me to arch and scream out his name as he kept pounding into me. My hands clung to the blankets and pillows over my head, trying to find something to hold on to.

My body seemed to be its own entity has my hips started rotating on their own accord. He was growling loudly and moving his cock in me at a faster speed.

Our breaths caressed as we panted and shook as we moved together. His thrusts became erratic moving in and out of me. My walls were clamping down when he started hitting that spot.

"Come for me, Bella." He grunted out as he plunged in, keeping my hips moving.

His name left my lips in almost a screech as my whole world turned dark.

* * *

**Yep, her dream actually did happen. Can anyone say Déjà vu? I hoped you liked :)**

_**Anywhoz, I wrote an OS for the Darkella contest, be sure to check it out. It's called 'Pleasure of the Flesh' and is a pairing with Bella & Jasper. **_

**REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE **


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to all my lovely reviewers, alerters, and favorite adders. I probably would not have much hope for this story without you all :)**

**I own no Twilight.**

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_Sound—_

**BPOV**

His scent clung heavily to my sheets, my pillows… me. It's a strange feeling to be missing something, or someone that never belonged to you. That _would_ never belong to you.

Jasper left just before dawn broke with a chaste, lingering kiss across my lips. He left with a heavy, painful sigh as his eyes stayed on mine before he leapt into the seemingly other world.

_My fingertips traced every unhidden scar across Jasper's chest that I could barely make out. _

"_They don't bother you?" He asked me._

"_Of course not, they are what have made me so strong." I said, leaning back to look up at his face. "These are what will help with whatever you have to face in the future. Whatever battles, wars, you have fought and got marked by will help those that you will have to deal with another day…though I doubt it will be something physical, they might just be mentally or just emotionally._

_You are, and will be stronger for what you might have to deal with. Plus, they are pretty cool."_

_He chuckled, causing his locks to fall slightly over his eyes. "You sure are something, Bella."_

"_That's good, right?" I asked a smile on my lips._

"_Always good, always great."_

_I blushed. "So Jasper, you never did tell me why you're covered in mud, dried leaves, and mud."_

"_Actually, darlin', I did." He said, moving his hands to write against my bare skin._

"_No, not really." I replied with a shake of my head._

_He sighed. "You were avoiding me, I knew. I wasn't sure why really, but I couldn't handle it. Days kept passing but still no you. A couple of days ago, I left the house, everybody was worryin' about me. Edward kept trying to get into my head, I had to measure my thoughts constantly. It was all drivin' me nuts._

_I just ran and ran, I knew I needed to hunt since I hadn't for awhile but all I could do was continue on runnin'. I stopped eventually, I think Canada, and caught scent of some moose. I did try to eat, but though my throat went up in flames, my whole being couldn't eat. It was strange being hungry but not having an appetite. Human, really."_

_He paused with a chuckle._

"_I stayed there for long while, even when rain pounded against my head. As typical Alice got tired of whatever I was doing. She called my phone and decided to give a long angry rant. I ended up coming back yesterday, but didn't go to the house. I ended up trying to unsuccessfully hunt again, only gaining a mud bath. _

_Alice told me she was forcing Edward to shop with her and I just had to see you. Like I said earlier, I missed you."_

"_Jasper," I paused, uncertain to ask, but knew I had too. "What is this? What's going on between us?"_

"_What this is…is complicated. I can't tell you exactly why now, but I promise to someday soon." He replied, kissing my hand softly._

"_I'll hold you to that." I mumbled as I placed my head back against his bare chest._

"_I know." He sighed, wrapping his arms tightly around me._

_What did we have? What was happening?_

_I didn't have an ounce as to an idea but at that moment I couldn't find it in me to particularly care. My conscious kept whispering that we weren't supposed to be like this, as if we were in love. We were supposed to be in lust and we had our time to get that out of the way, but the feeling was still there possibly stronger._

_So was it ever really just that I was in lust? Or was there more to all this before we had our weekend? _

_What was going on?_

_I couldn't lie to myself about that fact that, for some crazy reason, this place that I lay, this place that I'm held…this felt right. This place was safe, natural._

_My eyes began to blur, then barely clear as salty liquid fell passed them. I brought my hand up as quickly as I could to wipe them away, but the arm around me swept up and did it for me. _

"_Why do you cry, darlin'?" He asked._

"_I don't know." I mumbled. And it was true; I didn't know what came over me. _

_Perhaps, it was because of what was going on. Because I had everything I could want and yet now at this moment I couldn't say if I had made what I wanted into an illusion. I had Edward but now I couldn't say if he was who I had truly wanted all along._

_I loved him, I knew I did but was it the love I thought would last for eternity. Was it the love of knowing of belonging together till the end of time?_

_He was my first, so I couldn't exactly say that I knew that I would love him more than everybody else. I knew I loved him more than Jacob, but who's to say I would never find someone I would love more than Edward. Who's to say that we wouldn't grow out of love in a matter of a few years, or months even?_

_They say when you know you know, and I believed that…up until this point, lying in another man's arms. _

_How was it that Jasper had me questioning everything without even saying anything, when Jacob tried to do everything in his power to at least make me consider a future with him? What was so different? _

_It barely hit me that Alice had forced Edward to go with her and told Jasper I would be alone. She always did things for a reason and so she must have known this was going to happen. But what was it she was trying to get to happen? She had said she knew where we ended, but never told me where I did, only that I would be one of them._

_Another thought smack me across the head; she never spoke of me having a future with Edward. Never spoke that we were going to be happy together forever, and shouldn't she…shouldn't of she mentioned something like that. Said something a little about my future with him. _

_But she never did, only that I would be one of their kind._

_I wanted to yell out in frustration; scream, kick, throw a major five-year old tantrum, but I don't think Jasper would take any of that well. Probably think I was nuts and run off without a thought past that._

_Instead this happened…_

_Jasper's tight grip around me made prying his fingers from me impossible. "Up, I need to get up, now." I nearly shouted._

"_Bella, what's goin' on? Are you alright?" He worried, his hands loosing up._

"_I need to go." I said, twisting away and stumbling toward the restroom covering my mouth the whole way._

_I crashed down next to the toilet and quickly threw the seat up, pouring out my guts over the rim. I could barely register the now cold hand on my forehead and my hair no longer in front of me. _

_I coughed a few more times with nothing to show for it. I took a shaky breath and pressed my back against Jasper._

"_Are you alright, darlin'?" He finally asked._

"_I think so." I muttered._

"_Here," He said, moving me so his one arm was under my knees and his other was behind my back. "Let me carry you."_

_I nodded and whispered a slightly raspy 'alright.'_

"_Sleep." He practically ordered, but added when he felt my conflict, "I'll stay as long as I can."_

"_Wake me when you leave?" I asked._

"_Promise." He said kissing my forehead and wrapping my blankets more around my exhausted form. "Now, sleep."_

* * *

**A bit too short, but this chapter was needed, because as you can tell Bella is beginning to think and is having some conflict now. Plus, the next chapter with a BPOV won't have really any Jasper.**

**NEXT CHAP: JPOV**

**25 reviews = next chapter :D .Reviews make me write. Reviews are my fuel. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Twilight is not mine.**

**You guys are just the best :D Thank you to all reviewers, alerters, and favoriters. **

**I have not decided on the whole baby thing, yet. But you can tell me whatcha want****.**

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_Sound—_

**JPOV**

Did I always have to find some way to fuck everything up in my life?

Shit, I probably made everything way worse by going to her house the other night. But I needed too, I was in such pain…I needed to see her, taste her, just be near her after so many days without her.

I told her to not stay away anymore, but it seemed she wasn't going to listen.

I know it's only been two days since I went to her room, but shit, the pain was starting again. I don't think I'll be able to _not_ just simply take her away with me to somewhere, anywhere.

She was mine; I knew this from the fucking start…even Alice told me we would end up together. Why couldn't I just take her?

Oh, right because some controlling twat of a 'brother' believed them to be together forever and all that fairy tale shit. I just hoped Bella see's the big ass neon sign light that clearly reads that Eddie is not the one for her.

Why couldn't I have taken my head out of my ass when I had the chance to get to her first? Eddie wasn't even here for a full week when she first moved here and the first time I became chicken shit, I had to lose a chance with my mate.

Fuck, my life is just a giant shit orgy with more shit being born every second.

I heard the boisterous engine of her behemoth of a vehicle before I could see it. I was lucky to be in my study in that moment, no need having everyone seeing my crazy ass dancing around as if burning charcoal decorated my floors.

"What are you doing here, love?"

Now that shit halted every ecstatic feeling and thought I had for her first arrival in two weeks. And now I have to question myself in how the fuck did I forget about her 'fiancé'?

"I just missed everyone." She replied, with a nervous laugh.

I made my way to the stairs, despite knowing who she'll be with. I needed to see her, even if she was with my douchebag 'brother.'

"Well, sorry to disappoint but everyone is out for the afternoon." _Fucking Liar, what about the person at the top of the stairs, dipshit._ I yelled in my mind.

"Go away, then." Edward whispered, to low for Bella but perfectly clear for me.

"Oh, I guess I'll have to wait then." Bella spoke, disappointment coloring her emotions and voice.

Just as I was about to say 'screw this' and just head downstairs to greet my Bella, my cell singled an incoming text.

_Leave them alone, for now.— xoxo A._

"Fine." I muttered to my own damn self and practically stomped back towards my room.

I'll just try to see her in her room tonight.

_No.— xoxo A._

"Fine." I snarled, snapping my door open and slamming it shut, causing the top hinges to completely break and the door to hang limply by the bottom connection. "Shit."

…

About two hours glided by and I was getting pretty antsy trying to read a book. I could hear every little whisper, every kiss…fuck, I could feel the lust and love radiating off of Bella along with Edward's infatuation and possessiveness. I wanted to go down there and shred his face to resemble a puzzle set, I think that's the only way Eddie would ever be fun.

I heard Bella make a whimpering sound before a slight crashing of the table and fumbling could be heard. More weird sounds from Bella and emotions that were all whacked out like the other night I was with her.

"Love, what's wrong?" The prick finally asked.

I could make out the sounds of her feet stumbling and smacking into each other as she ran into the direction of the restroom.

What was the matter with her?

Even the other night she seemed really out of it. Sometimes, or should I say most, of the time I couldn't get a clear read on any of her emotions. And then to top it all off she ended up bringing her meal back up for the toilet to take.

Perhaps she got the flu or some other type of human virus.

I sensed Edward's annoyance and disgust near the restroom Bella was currently puking in, again. Obviously he wasn't being the proper gentlemen everybody believes him to be, I mean the guy who is supposed to be in love can't even been hold her hair back or get her a glass of water when she is in obvious pain.

I decided that I was simply going to leave the house until she left. It seemed Eddie didn't like me around Bella more so now than before, which I suppose is understandable; I mean I did fuck her for a whole weekend. I almost laughed when I realized he didn't even have a clue as to my time in her room the other night.

Plus, I couldn't stand being around when the fucking mind reader was just going to treat my girl like complete shit and I couldn't do a single thing about it.

I filled my head with some asinine song to irritate Eddie; something about 'telephones.' I strolled past him and the restroom door, still hearing Bella breathing roughly and raggedly. Her chest was probably moving like it did when I—

Oops.

Maybe she should go to Carlisle, something is obviously wrong.

"It is none of your concern." Edward spoke, reading my thoughts. Like fucking always.

"You should at least take care of her while she pukes all over the place."

"The smell and sight is grotesque." He replied with a sneer.

"Yeah, but you should deal with it. Your 'love' is sick, the least you can fucking do is hold her hair back." I said, fighting the urge to growl it out and punch his pretty face.

"Why do you care?" He snapped.

" 'Cause I do, Eddie." I drawled.

"Leave. She is not your concern." He growled.

"Fuck you, Ed." I called back moving towards the front door.

Once I ran miles and miles from the house, I felt the weights lift off of me. My thoughts quickly started roaming free from the confines I had to create. Only filled with Bella.

Her body bare to my predatory eyes as my fingers pump in and out in a pace that has her begging for more. Those big, brown eyes clenched tightly for the euphoria only I could rise for her body. That bottom lip sucked and held tightly between her teeth, trying to hold back the screams that always come out.

When I finally sheath myself into her tight, hot cunt she would shudder slightly and grip me closer. Moving myself out and in, neither one of us able to breathe right. Our minds clouded on only each other. Her muscles would grip me in a tight vise and we both found our reach in almost the same moment.

Her body was completely mine.

Her soul was completely mine.

And though she doesn't realize it yet, her heart was completely mine.

The way I was able to run my teeth across her beating heart without a flare of pain across my throat, the way it picked up speed whenever I neared it, the way he never caused that reaction, because it knew exactly who its master was. Now only she needed to figure out that it was never her's to give to anyone. Only mine to hold.

Everything about her was mine.

I really had to tell her that and now.

"You know you can't," Alice skipped to my side. "At least, not yet."

"Why not?" I whined as if I was a mere child. "I've waited long enough, and I can tell she's beginning to open her doe eyes a little."

"Silly Jazz, don't worry so much. You waited this long, what's a few more weeks? Just… be more patient, alright?" She said. "As you said, she is just opening her eyes, now she needs to see."

We always say never bet against Alice, but boy did I really want to. Anything to be able to have Bella every single day and not have to worry about a fucking mind reader finding out.

"A few weeks, then?" I asked.

"Give or take." She answered, flippantly.

"I suppose I can be more patient." I sighed. "Though, if I ever have to see him with any of his skinny fingers on her, I can't be held accountable for any missing limbs."

Alice simply turned towards me and stared with a stern expression. "If you're really going to be like that, I'll have to be by your side every time Bella is in the house."

"How about I just mess with his emotions? Embarrass him, maybe something worse?" I tried to compromise, seeing her face only grow sterner with every word out of my mouth. "Or less?"

"No, sorry Jazz, but none of the above. You will let this run its course without a single word, got that?"

"Yeah, fine." I mumbled.

"You. Got. That." Growing force in her voice and emotions.

"Yes, woman, I got it." I growled out.

"Good, now I have someone looking for me." She said unaffected and skipped away, yelling over her shoulder as she did. "Be good."

Crazy fucking fairy.

Oh, how I wish I could suck down a Jack Daniels, right now.

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**There you have it, a look into the mind of Jasper. I hoped you liked. I'm not really sure if I did, but eh.**

**Reviews have Jasper cooking you breakfast with only an apron and cowboy boots on :D Shit, I think I just swooned. LOL.**

**Love me. Hate me. Just review me.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry, sorry this is mega late. I really have no excuse except procrastination and writers block.**

**Thank you to those who reviewed, alerted, and favorite.**

**Lots of love to ****MoonPrincess623****, who beta**_**ed**_** and added her little spice of greatness to this chapter :D**

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_Sound—_

**BPOV **

When the yellow rays splashed across my room, they roused me from my very pleasant yet wrong dreams. It wasn't until I stepped foot in the restroom that my thoughts fully grasped what had transpired last night with Jasper being with me, and my many raging questions from then.

I still couldn't fully comprehend how someone I didn't really know could cause the second guesses about my forever with Edward, when Jacob had been trying even before he knew of the supernatural.

The sex was good, but it could be just as good with Edward, hopefully even better. But did I really think that? Sometimes Edward went 'too far' as he called it (which considering what I did with Jasper, it sure as hell isn't) and when I compare that with what Jasper ignites in me.

_Sigh. _I saw those T.V. shows where the girl cheats with someone else; and I always hated them, thinking how could they do that? _Laugh. _I was that girl, and part of me didn't care; that part of me wanted Jasper. That part wanted him so bad, that she didn't care that he spent the night in her bed.

But my 'oh shit' moment had to be when I raised my left hand to move the shower curtain and a slight sparkle on my ring finger had me remembering that I was not single or free to have men spend the night over or cheat on my fiancé.

Last night with Jasper was not something I could ever find myself forgetting, but that didn't change the fact that guilt wasn't going to start eating away at my mind and heart. How could I have forgotten about Edward, my _fiancé_?

I have no idea.

There was something with Jasper though, something I couldn't deny from myself. Something that clicked, that was just so natural, so _right. _That something had me wanting him and coming back for more.

Was it evil of me to like having Jasper on the side and forget about Edward for a moment?

_Yes, _my mind wanted to scream at me. But how could I not want to keep having Jasper when he gave me everything I desired, things that I hadn't known of ever wanting and needing?

These were ridiculous and useless thoughts though, I was with Edward. I loved Edward, we were soul mates.

So why didn't that sound as right as before?

No, I couldn't keep thinking like this. I was nothing to Jasper, only having gained the title of being the human that had sex with him—though I wasn't even sure I was the first one. I really hoped I was the first, I suppose to allow myself to feel more than special enough to actually be wanted.

_But he missed you._

Those could have been words, simply words that Edward always fed me as well. Words were insignificant, actions spoke.

Edward's actions…he not only lied to me, but he proved himself wrong. He said that he couldn't take that full leap with me because he would lose control. Yet, he always said that he had more control than Jasper—who was the weak link in the family—so why did he let Jasper take what should have been his? Why allow me to have sex with a man that, supposedly, could kill me at any moment? Especially when blood was going to be involve.

So in way, was Edward telling me it was okay to be with Jasper? Or was he trying to get me to doubt him?

And on the whole actions speak louder note, what did Jasper's actions say?

…...

Though he told me to not stay away, I found it extremely difficult to even start my truck up to follow through with his request. Was there a part of me that wished for another of his secret visits?

Yes, I liked him chasing me instead of the other way around. Especially since I shouldn't be chasing him, I was supposed to be happy with Edward.

Happy with my certain eternity with Edward.

Happy with my future life and family.

And…and I am happy. _I'm happy. I am happy._

With a new mantra, my hand turned the key in one quick motion causing the engine to splutter before chugging to life. But why did I feel like I was lying to myself?

The drive to the Cullen home didn't last nearly as long as usual, and I couldn't help feeling wanting to turn back around. Just as I was about to act on my want, Edward had glided across the front of my still running truck and opened my door, unbuckled my seatbelt, and shut off my engine.

"What are you doing here, love?" He asked, pulling me out of my seat.

"I just missed everyone." I replied, with a nervous laugh.

"Well," He said with his smile, "sorry to disappoint but everyone is out for the afternoon."

"Oh, I guess I'll have to wait then." I said, trying to hide the disappointment I was feeling.

The rest of the morning and afternoon was spent in a blur of television and shared kisses here and there. It was perfect, as if nothing had caused me to question everything. I found myself sighing against Edward constantly in happiness.

After an hour or two of lounging, I quickly sat up in panic and desperately tried to get loose from Edward's hold.

"Love, what's wrong?" He asked, letting go.

I didn't answer, but got up as quickly as I could and ran towards the restroom. Edward probably right behind me. Everything was coming up and before I knew it I was in front of the toilet and the door crashed closed. I suppose he pushed me in here.

Tears ran down my face as I continued pushing stuff out of my system. I had to try to hold my hair away while staying balanced at the top of the toilet, which for me was a difficult fete.

How come Jasper would hold my hair back and stay with me, but Edward, the love of my existence, wouldn't? There were so many things that weren't adding up. And it seemed that being with Jasper was the one that was opening my eyes.

As I rinsed out my mouth with Listerine, my eyes wandered to my hair that now had a bit of the saliva acid I had just brought back up. I really couldn't believe that Edward had basically tossed me in the bathroom and left just as fast. His usual brooding face held absolute disgust for my sickness. He made me feel like complete trash for being human at that moment.

In that moment I was even more aware then before in the bathroom while I was throwing up, that when I got sick with Jasper around, he held my hair and comforted me in my time of weakness. It seemed as if he wasn't bothered in the slightest by what I'm sure was all around abhorring, as Edward had surely found it. Jasper didn't think of my humanity like Edward constantly did. I was Bella in Jasper's eyes, not fragile Isabella as with Edward.

More and more was being to unfold from my eyes and it seemed, in a way, that Jasper was making my eyes see clearer.

…...

None of this should have been different; nothing, yet it seemed everything was.

I had decided to not even think about the fact that Edward was a complete asshole earlier, and to simply go back to how we were supposed to be; I tried to pretend that none of it mattered. _More lying to myself._

He had driven us to my house, which he wouldn't answer my questions as to what for, and we both went up to my room, which was basically our routine. Some kisses were shared and, as usual, I tried pushing past his regular barriers. The only difference was that this time… he was letting me.

When my hands traveled under his shirt and I was straddling him, I pulled myself back and took a long look at his still semi-controlled face.

"You're not stopping me?" I stated more than asked.

"No, I don't have to worry about your blood anymore and you have always wanted this."

"What happened to waiting for marriage?"

"I changed my mind." He said simply, but yet there was something hidden in his eyes. A hidden anger, maybe.

"You just, all of a sudden, changed your mind." I stated doubtfully.

His hand came up and brushed across my cheek, caressing my neck. "Yes."

His other hand came up and pulled my face down to him, our lips smashing together in a very different type of kiss than usual. It was full of possessiveness and hunger; it frightened me.

One hand grazed across my exposed flesh on my lower backside. His thumb rubbed what I assumed was relaxing circles on my very tense muscles. He quickly flipped us over, so I was now the one laying on the bed and he sat in between my legs.

I didn't want to continue this. Not all the way. Not with Edward.

It was shocking and highly strange that for the first time knowing I didn't want Edward to touch me past a chaste kiss. What had changed? At this moment he was finally going to give in and yet I felt disgusted to even think of letting him.

What had changed?

_Jasper. _

His name rang in my head, but I still didn't understand why he would affect what I had always wanted from Edward. What I had been once dreamed of sharing with Edward for a year. What was stopping me from finally getting what I thought I had wanted?

Was it that I gave up my virginity to Jasper? That he had satisfied me in so many ways? That in way, I felt like that part of me belonged to Jasper, and Jasper only?

"What's the matter, love? Did you change your mind?" Edward asked, his voice holding that sweetness that was there every time he spoke, but for the first time I could also pick up the disappointment and anger underlining the façade.

"Just relax, Isabella, I'll take care of you, I always do." The way he said my name had me shuddering, and not in a good way. I actually felt like barfing.

_Now if Jasper had said it like that…_

What is wrong with me? Edward, not Jasper. Edward. I love Edward Cullen. I want to be the future Mrs. Edward Cullen.

So why did I want to gag from that thought? Why as I stared in Edward's butterscotch lustful eyes did I wish for the rum lustful eyes of Jasper? Why did I feel guilty when Edward's hands began to roam?

_What is wrong with you? This is your man; this is who you have been waiting for. _

Edward pulled back and tugged his belt off. I lay immobile on the bed. He stared at me with his crooked grin, unbuttoning his slacks quickly and unzipping slowly. He let them fall to the floor on their own along with his boxers. He was standing fully nude at the edge of my bed as I lay motionless, but simply for curiosity sake I allowed my eyes to roam absentmindedly comparing him to Jasper.

As my eyes moved down Edward's less muscular chest and abs, I could tell he seemed proud of himself. My gaze went lower past his hardly noticeable 'v' down to his…first off, I must put out there that Jasper was the first naked man I had ever seen and include the fact he is a vampire, I had assumed that all male vampires were well-endowed… anyways, my eyes continued skimming past his pelvic bones and finally came across his…_dick._

I tilted my head to the side with only one thought in my head. _Huh, I suppose even vampires still have imperfections._ I started to find myself running through thoughts of the venom missing some parts, and wondering if that was even possible. I mean the venom runs through your blood and is suppose to perfect your imperfections of humanity. Maybe it was the fact that he was changed to young, I mean men are suppose to fully stop growing sometime in their twenties, right? So perhaps that was what happened to Edward.

"Love?" He broke me out of my thoughts, his voice holding concern. I quickly felt like a total bitch for just staring.

"Edward," I said with a fake smile. "I don't think now is the right time. I actually wanted to have a check-up with Carlisle, and besides that Charlie will be back any moment."

"You're probably right, love. I would like for our first time to be special." I nodded frantically in agreement, though my agreement was more because I didn't feel right with him touching me and I wanted to think on everything. _Anything to get him off of me and not naked._

We really couldn't be having sex while I was thinking about another guy, or the fact I was still confused as to the full dynamics of venom and how it can work with or against men.

…...

Edward drove us wildly to his home, and practically carried me to the living room. No one seemed to be around yet again.

"I have to go out for a quick hunt, but do not fret, love. Carlisle will be here soon from work." He kissed my forehead gently. "Stay here."

I nodded feeling like a very small child at the moment. He left with chaste kiss and another order to stay where I was. I rocked against my heels for a moment before deciding to lounge on the couch.

The ceiling ended up being useless to stare up at, since it was complete white and smooth. Same as the wall and carpet, except the floor wasn't smooth; just furry- like.

I picked at the cuticles of my nails in boredom while humming countless songs. No one had even shown up at all. Torturous contraptions would be better at this moment then having to wait in complete, utter boredom.

I was soon running out of nails to pick at, and huffed in irritation. I looked around the room again, searching for anything, but once again there was completely nothing. But that didn't stop me from picking something else to do. I ended up getting rid of some of the split ends in my hair, which wasn't much but did allow me to waste some time.

"Aren't waiting rooms a bitch?" His voice made me jump slightly and heart skip then race uncontrollably. Jasper moved to the sofa to the right of me, far yet still close.

I laughed when my brain finally caught up, before meeting his eyes. "You grow used to them," I said with a slight pause, "or I've grown used to them, I mean they are practically my second home."

He eyes lit with amusement. "Ah, but I would think they were your third home. Your second home has a doctor that caters to your every whim, in fact everyone around here does."

"And yet, he still makes me wait in an all white room that quickly makes me bored with no one to amuse me."

Jasper relaxed much more into the seat, placing his arms behind his head as he leaned back giving me a very tempting look of the expanse of his neck. I swallowed my rising saliva and desire as quickly as I could, but by the light smirk that had risen on his lips I knew I was too late.

"The television is right in front of you. It has some form of entertainment." He finally said, eyes still closed.

"I don't watch."

"Magazines are to your left."

"I don't care for that stuff."

"Didn't you bring a book?"

"I forgot."

"Couldn't you find one?" The blonde vampire asked; his head tilted slightly in my direction with one eye open. "We are in the house that people live in; and I know for a fact, that you know where the books are located."

"Edward told me to stay here."

He laughed at me with a shake of his head. Jasper's eyes sparkling with mirth at the simple sentence I had given him. What the hell was so funny?

"Your shoes are untied," He finally said, no longer amused his eyes and tone filled with mocking with his next sentence. "Do you need to ask Edward if your allowed to tie them or does he do it for you?"

I wanted to scream at him that I didn't need Edward to give me permission, but what I had just said played in my mind. Then I was angry and embarrassed because he was right, because I knew that he looked at me as pathetic.

Edward was my life, but I wasn't sure if it was something I wanted or something that he was forcing. My love for him was there, of course it was.

"No, no usually I have to change my shoes all together. _In fact_, I'm getting a new pair this weekend, it'll be Velcro." I replied with sarcasm.

"Good, good." He said unaffected. "Where is Eddie anyway?"

"I'm not too sure." I said. "He only told me to wait for Carlisle and that he would be back in a couple of hours."

Jasper sat up and leaned his arms across his knees, staring directly at me. Not feeling like being like a coward, I stared straight back into his eyes. A smirk played at the corner of his lips as we continued our random contest.

I bit my lip in concentration and noticed how his eyes slightly shifted to my mouth and darkened somewhat. Licking my lips slowly, his eyes darkened even more and his smirking lips were now slightly parted. I whispered his name slowly, his breathing seeming to quicken as I moved off the couch slightly to slide closer.

I placed a hand on his knee, moving it further up as I slid closer. I continued my stare in his eyes as he no longer gazed at my lips and stared straight back. My hand continuing to slowly graze up and down his inner thigh.

Jasper brought both his hands up and rested each on either side of my face. His thumb ran along the bottom of my lip causing them to part.

"Bella." His kissable mouth uttered quietly. "Can I kiss you?"

I found it strange that he was asking, especially after everything we had done. But I nodded my head in consent anyways. _Like I could deny him anything._

He scooted himself closer while still holding my face. We stared at one another in silence for a small moment before leaning forward till we were just a breath away. I let out a gust of air and my lids fluttered to a close the moment Jasper's lips brushed across my own.

Once our mouths were fully molded, I couldn't help tangling my fingers through his hair and press myself closer. I needed to be closer.

Fiery patterns danced all throughout my flesh wherever Jasper touched. Our breathing quickened as we moved together faster and allowed our hands to move wildly under shirts to touch exposed skin.

A moan slipped past my lips when he began to cup my breast and nip my bottom lip. I grazed my nails across his chest and abs, enjoying the hisses and purrs he would let loose.

The creak of an opening door caused me to push and jump away, while desperately smoothing away what had just occurred. My breathed came out in pants as we both stared at the front door.

"Hi Carlisle." I greeted with a shaky smile as he drifted past the door.

"Hello Bella, Jasper." Carlisle greeted as he walked straight to the stairs.

I glanced back at Jasper, seeing the frustration clearly, and scrambled to a stand, walking to Carlisle who quickly stopped when he noticed I was following.

"Carlisle, I actually need a check up." I told him trying desperately to gain composure.

"Are you ill?" He asked, turning to face me fully, concern etched on his face.

"Yeah, I think I am." I replied. "I've been throwing up a lot lately."

"Alright, we'll go to my office and check out the problem." He said with a smile and moved up the stairs.

I didn't look back once as I followed, but did end up hearing the slamming of the front door. I cringed from the sound and the feelings that I remembered I shouldn't be feeling.

"So you have no idea what could possibly be the problem?" Carlisle asked, as we entered his office.

"Nope, not a clue."

He nodded and appeared thoughtful. "We'll do some tests."

And test we did. Though it seems many times that, by his expressions, Carlisle had found the answer long ago, but for some reason he seemed determined to want whatever I had to not be true. So we spent a long while having tests, even having to do some multiple times.

Finally though Carlisle seemed to finally come to whatever conclusion and had me sit on a chair near his own with many emotions playing on his face as he pondered my probable situation.

"I don't know how to say this," Carlisle finally whispered, the picture of being flabbergasted, awed, and terrified. "I don't think I can really believe it."

He started rubbing his hand across his forehead in a shaky manner, causing me to become a bit fidgety as well. "Carlisle, you're scaring me. Please, just tell me what it is."

"It appears you're with child, Bella." He spoke with calm, but I could hear the underlining of all the earlier obvious emotions.

"Holy shit, I didn't see _that_ coming." Was the loud response from the doorway, where Alice had seemed to appeared out of thin air only slightly before the seeming impossible news, but I couldn't keep my mind on the fact that that was the first time I ever heard Alice swear. All my focus was on my stomach.

My baby.

_Jasper's baby._

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**Longer chapter for my lateness. **

**Okay, so I know lots of you didn't want a baby to happen…BUT I really do have a great plan and really hope you all stick with me.**

**LOVE ME. HATE ME. JUST REVIEW ME.**


	8. Chapter 8 real one

**Hey, okay soooo I'm doing loads better and am trying to get back writing. Thank you all so much for everything, I really appreciated all the messages everyone sent me, they really helped. **

**As always don't own anything.**

**Betaed by MoonPrincess623…read her stuff, she's awesome :D**

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_Sound—_

**BPOV**

When I was a little girl visiting Charlie over one summer, an incident had happened. The incident itself was nothing to extraordinary as to be remembered; nothing important. Not the incident, no, but it was my reaction that stuck in my mind even after all these years with a new accident that had nothing parallel to that of when I was young.

I remember playing inside the forest, not far from the edge of exit but still enough to be an adventure for me. It had rained very little that day, yet the ground was all mud which I had taken to playing with at that time. I was absolutely joyous playing in the mud; even though I was completely alone…I thought nothing to disrupt my small world.

It came in the shape of a pinecone. Nothing big, nothing worth remembering. Silly, really, but I do remember.

The mud wouldn't stay any way shape I tried to mold it to, but still I persisted that it would if I was patient. So I stayed sitting calmly and happily in nature's mess when a slight touch tapped my head. I felt no pain or anything, but confusion at that moment. No one was around, but the slight tingle at the back top of my head told me that I had imagined nothing. So naturally, I had raised my hand to the point in which the tingle continued. My hair didn't part as it usually did and my fingers developed a sticky substance at the ends.

At that point, I brought my hand back down towards my face for inspection finding my blood covering the roots of my hands almost fully. And really, I should have been used to my own blood, being the klutz that I am, but for some unfathomable reason this time felt absolutely different.

I remember staring, just staring at my crimson colored fingers almost numbly. Nothing seemed to process. Nothing even felt aware, but then for some unfathomable reason when the liquid began to seep down and towards my cleansed palm…I remember crying, not just sobs but being almost hysterical. I felt the pain sharply across my skull then and felt myself breaking down, more so when I had no idea as to why.

I suppose this memory came to my in this time, because at that moment about hearing Carlisle's results…I felt numb; I felt as if I was that little girl again playing in mud and listening to the birds sing with the wind then having that pinecone hitting me across the head then the wait for my own reaction.

And now, a new song with only two words and mix of beats was the constant broken record of my new uncertainly joyous news. In all actuality, Alice was the singer with no melody. She would shout, 'holy shit,' in random moments of her pace dance which Carlisle seemed to have choreographed. Their usually silent footfalls, crashing heavily against the wood as they moved in the same pattern back, turn, and forth and back again.

I watched the talent going on in front of me, remaining still on the couch while rubbing my stomach somewhat absentmindedly. It felt harder than usual, I had noted earlier, and no longer the flat abdomen I was used to. How I did not catch the slight difference to my body sooner, I have no idea. It was actually quiet noticeable now that I actually realized that I was…_pregnant_.

Even in my mind, I couldn't seem to actually believe that I was with a little person growing inside of me. Perhaps, I was in a bit of shock. I mean, never in my life had I even thought for one single moment that I would have children. More so, since I stepped into the world of these mythical beings that would forever stay frozen. Never in my dreams did I think that a having sex— multiple times— with a vampire would give me the chance to become a…_a mother_.

My eyes flitted from the ridiculous scene going on in front of me down to the concealed bulge near my pelvis. It was a strange thing still, I could feel the hardness protecting it…the child, but was there really a _baby_ in me?

None of the panicking going on was helping with my readjustment to my situation, either. I could almost feel the tension in the air threatening to drown me with all the shock and disbelief. The least the two could do was go outside and rampage through the forest like I know some of the others will do once they got back here.

Now, that's a whole other twisted problem I don't even want to think about at the moment.

Because if all that was happening was real, then I know that my whole thought out future was no longer going to be even close to what I had wanted. Because this…_child_ was as unexpected as they come and did not come from the one person I wanted to spend forever with. How can you just clearly accept something this big when life would surely become what you never could have imagined?

And that was the thing; I did not know what to feel. The only way to place it was that I was currently in full out shock. Just like that moment when I was little and staring at my bloodied fingers.

I moved my eyes down to my currently semi-flat stomach and splayed my hand on top of my bellybutton. I don't know why, but maybe I'm just trying to feel a presence hoping that a single act of proof would help me know what to do…what to feel.

All I can do is stare at my opened palm across my belly…over a new life. I am frozen in time, it seems, trying to distinguish all the rights that I'm sure this is that was made by so many wrongs. None of which, I had really a choice in…I mean how could you say 'no' to a vampire like Jasper when he is sucking your skin in various tantalizing manners…so yeah I have to say I never actually had a choice.

Especially, when it was the family's scheme for me to lose my virginity with someone who had absolutely no words for me until the act. My best friend allowed me to have sex with her ex-husband... my fiancé allowed a brother; both probably thinking that it would be a harmless act with no strings attached in the least.

Who knew vampires could be so moronic?

Because really, losing your virginity is a very memorable moment and it seems to me that Jasper would never forget it either. Somehow, we became connected…not only physically but more so bonded in ways that no one could foresee. Or at least, I would like to think that Alice didn't foresee any of this, but somehow a little voice in my head tells me she knew way more than what she was letting on.

But what did she see for my future that had to be kept a complete secret? Obviously, she never seen this baby problem arising.

I wanted this life. I wanted to have this only chance of being a mother. I wanted what I didn't even have a dream about, for my future. I wanted what once was the impossible. Just like immortality was once, now having a child was up there with it…now in my grasp while I seem to keep reaching for the moon.

Now on how to tell Edward about the new person that was going to be in our life. Perhaps something like…

'Hey Edward, I just needed to tell you that you're going to be a dad, though in actuality Jasper's the true father as you know because you allowed me to have sex with him, but me and you haven't touched one another in any way that I once wanted you to. Anyways, I just wanted to give you a false congratulation.'

'Oh, love, I have always dreamed of having a family with you. Perhaps, Jasper can be the godfather and/or uncle, what do you say?'

'I just knew you would understand.'

Share a chaste kiss then the end.

Ha, yeah right. That's definitely how it's going to go.

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**So this is shorter and possibly different, but it is the first thing I have written since everything so just kindly tell me if anything needs to be fixed. **

**For those that read 'Seek Not My Heart,' I am currently finishing up the chappie.**


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